My life.

I'm 22, last year I was finally diagnosed with aspergers. My life has never been an easy one, but to finally put a name onto something is good. All my life I've been wondering why I'm " different ", " weird ". Growing up was hard, I never fitted in, I was bullied, I was painfully shy. I learnt to not care what people think of me, it takes a lot to offend me. I'm more likely to offend you, not on purpose, just things just pop in my head and I don't think before I speak. I lack empathy, for example " someone dies " my reaction to that is " they will get over it ". I hate loud noises, if you see me in a club you'd kno that every time I have to touch my ears to try get used to the sound. Detail.. If you have something on your face or odd socks on etc, I have to point it out. Sight.. I'm sensitive to things, things that " normal people don't usual see " which also causes me to hear them too. Touch.. I have to touch everything, if I'm in a clothes shop, the first thing I do is touch the material and if I don't like the feel of it I won't but it. Smell.. My nose is pretty good. See the thing is, as to an extent I like having autism but sometimes it's my worst nightmare, everyday is a struggle, I have a son Logan, and I feel he is missing out on a lot because my autism holds me back. I can't go out on public without an " adult " because I'm scared. Another thing I can't do is eye contact, the only person I can give full contact to is my son. I love to make poems, poems that make you think " hold on I don't understand this " , I always look at it at every perspective. It's difficult being " different ", no one to talk to, no one who understands.

Cassie
Suffolk, United Kingdom