Stories of Hope

Autism and a Magical Step-Father

We have the typical boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl live happily ever after story; but that's where the typical ends. Before we fell in love my husband and I had been married to other partners before and had 2 kids each. Falling in love was the easy part, blending 4 teenagers, one with profound autism, was the hard part. It was the first challenge of many, however we did blend the families and in doing so became better people.

My husband had absolutely no experience with special needs children, let alone a 14 year old non-verbal, self injurious teenager when we met, but he quickly fell for him too. My husband, Quinn, likes to say, "I know what I signed up for and your sons were here before I was." Quinn has set the bar high for all adults becoming a step-parent to typical and special needs children. Through his love for me, his love of my children has grown.

Quinn had a huge learning curve to catch up on with regard to Jason, my son with autism. Yet he handled it in the true style he approaches everything, with integrity, tenacity and acceptance. Through Quinn's example the rest of our family followed his lead. My husband began charity work, volunteer services and became involved with fund raising through Jason's school. It's not about being there since the beginning of the journey that matters must, it's about the impact you make on your part of the journey. All parents have a gift to give their children and Quinn's gift was becoming a magical step-parent who found his own way to bring us all together.

Cindy Burroughs
Rockville, MD

Autism and Love

My husband and I are both autistic. We had the first-ever All-Autistic wedding, and opened our event to the public. Not only was the "I Do Crew" autistic, but the film crew was autistic as well. We chose to do this to bring awareness that autistic individuals need love, relationships and marriage just like everyone else.

I was diagnosed with autism at age 50, after which I started an autism support group in my town. One day my future husband attended one of the meetings. We immediately became friends. Our friendship grew over the coming year. Our relationship turned to a romantic one after a celebration dinner where we were able to really talk and learn each other's deepest feelings. Abraham proposed to me on Christmas Eve 2014 outside on a crisp evening under the stars.

I had just been invited to speak at the Love & Autism Conference in San Diego. I contacted the conference organizer to ask if we could get married at the conference. She instantly said yes, and the wedding planning began. I had my friend, Dr. Temple Grandin give a special toast. There were many other noted autism advocates as part of our wedding party, including Dr. Stephen Shore who was our Officiant that married us!

We want to share our message of hope to everyone around the world. Also, we defy all the stereotypes of autism, giving more hope to individuals with autism AND the parents of autistic children.

Thank you VERY much!

Anita Lesko
Pensacola, FL

The life of an aspie girl

When I was two years old, my mom and dad were told the news that I was on the Autism spectrum. I was always taught not to be ashamed of it but I always was. I could not stand the fact that I did not have good social skills, could not relate to other girls my age or simply tell when someone was joking instead of just being mean. One day it hit me that I was on the spectrum and it will never change. Now I try to talk about it as much as possible because I want to inspire others. My mom was told that I would never walk, talk, eat or bathe myself without adult supervision. I proved the doctors wrong because I have a 3.19 GPA at college, have my own place, have a job where I am valued, and I have a wonderful cat who I take very good care of. I am proud of everything I have accomplished, I hope that one day I can write a book or do a public speech about my experience with Autism. The moral of the story is we should all embrace the person God made us to be and we should use our faults to teach others on how to help theirs.

Darcie
Davison, MI

"I'm different than other kids."

My daughter was diagnosed with Autism at three years old. She is now four and much of our life revolves around planning. We plan A.B.A. appointments, OT appointments, I.E.P. meetings, swim lessons, play dates and exit strategies, in case things get rough when going out and we need to leave.

However, never once as a mom had I planned on how to explain Autism to my daughter.She is only 4 after all, I'd have plenty of time to plan for that conversation later.

Boy, was I ever wrong. I remember the exact moment when I felt my heart stop beating and my gut wrench in knots. It was the exact same moment that my daughter looked directly in my eyes and told me "Mom, I know I'm different than other kids."

I blinked rapidly, inhaled a large breath, forcing my heart to beat and my brain to gather it's thoughts. I couldn't even get myself together before my daughter interrupted my inner panic attack with her pure awesomeness and said "I think I may be like Spiderman or Batman or Darth Vader!!! But my arm doesn't have any slime...yet"

Then off she disappeared around the corner, singing the Spiderman theme song.

I made a silent plan of action immediately following my daughters mind blowing awareness of her differences. My plan is now to make sure my daughter (and others) always see her differences as an ABILITY not a disability.

If she can see her ability, then Spiderman, Batman and Darth Vader will have nothing on her.

Anonymous
Spring Hill, FL

My Life with Autism

My name is Lindsey Moreland. At 28 months old, my parents found out that I have autism. At five years old, I began to say a few words and starting talking with full sentences at the age of six. Autism does not go away, but I learned how to live with it. Special Children's Center helped me with speech and sensory therapy. There are still many challenges in my life. My head is extremely sensitive. I dislike haircuts and brushing my hair because it always feels like my hair is being ripped apart. Clothes don’t feel right either and there are certain clothes that I cannot wear. I am on a gluten-free diet, which helps my weak stomach and mood swings.
One of my most challenging struggles was socializing. I was bullied, ignored, and lonely in middle and high school. Students called me names like baby, stupid, and the r-word, students ignored me, and I couldn’t find a partner for class projects and field trips. I sat alone in the cafeteria. Bus rides were terrible, no one would sit by me or let me sit with them. No one wanted to go to special events with me. Students talked about me and laughed behind my back. After taking a stand and sharing my feelings on Facebook, I was asked to prom. It was a dream come ture, I had one great school experience.
Another dream that came true was graduating high school with honors. I am currently studying at the university, majoring in elementary education with a minor of Spanish. Not only I am becoming a teacher, but I also have a dream to become a motivational speaker and an activist for bullying. I am also making plans to write my own book. I met Temple Grandin when she spoke about autism about five years ago. Because of Temple, it's important to spread the word so other people can understand and accept other people with autism. In Ellen DeGeneres's own words, "Be kind to one another," that's the quote that everyone should hear. Thank you!

Lindsey Moreland
River Falls, WI

National Youth Activist Award Finalist

Kelsey was found in a Russian orphanage when she was 11 months old weighing less than 14 pounds. Alone, sick, starving and emaciated, her head had been shaved due to lice. The doctors did not know if she would ever walk or talk. Despite these issues, she had big bright eyes, lots of energy and her enthusiasm for life captured everyone's attention.

Kelsey is currently a fifth grade autistic special education student. Although she is only 12, Kelsey is already a community leader. In 2015 she has raised over $5,000 of dollars and volunteered over 300 community service hours to help children in need and their families. She is currently serving as the local Coordinator for the Adventure Bags Project that works with local organizations (e.g. Department of Family and Children's Services, domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, teen shelters, etc.) that work with displaced children to give a child a book bag filled with important hygiene and other personal items that they can call their own. She is also currently serving as the Special Needs Ambassador and Advocate for a six county regional prevention coalition serving over 10,000 students. Kelsey's responsibilities include collecting donated clinic supplies and educational outreach materials and speaking at community outreach events. In addition, since May she has supported a local Humane Society by donating 1,500 pounds of dog food. During the same time frame, she has also collected over 600 cans and boxes of food for the local Backpack Buddies Program which provides nutritious food for local hungry and malnourished students.

Kelsey is a finalist for the National Youth Activist Award in the Triumph and Helpful Humanitarian categories. The winners will be announced at an award ceremony next month. She is a shining example of the potential that exists for every special needs child and their ability to help others and make their communities a better place to live.

Carol Norris
Bonaire, GA

How people made me autistic

My name is Andreas Plefka, I live in Germany,
I felt my whole life that life is exhausting, but I was strong. .
In 2008 I met a woman again who went to school with me, she fell in love with me, but started a role play, because at that time I was writing for several years, being able of writing like Seinfeld, which she thought was arrogant.
She wanted to teach me, told me we will only meet when i do like she says, I had to apply, which I tried to.
Back in school she gave me energy, I was happy to say thank you, do good.
But she confused me, overloaded me, involved all friends.
All my symptoms became extreme, I did react weird, and I got punished for it.
She insisted on a development i made, which the bank would have bought, I gave it to her.
Her "game" continued, it became more and more extreme, it led to bullying, I got isolated.
I did self diagnosis, I was so happy to explain myself, get understanding, apologies, but that did not happen.
A psychiatrist confirmed I am autistic, and so did other autistics and experts I had contact to.
Over the years I became a professional, I always want to do good, but some things i just can´t do, it´s just not possible.
Now I am completely isolated, noone talks. I need clarification, those people who are responsible need to talk, understand, but they refuse to. I am self destructive because of that, I know I will die if I don´t get clarification, but most people do not see that, do not believe me, except for some autistic experts and one professor in Zurich, Switzerland. Please contact me on facebook if you can help, thank you!

Andreas Plefka
Hochheim, Germany

The Short List

As a special needs parent, we all have a "short list"... of the restaurants we can go to and enjoy a meal. This is not to say that I've ever seen a food establishment have a "No Special Needs Children Allowed" sign, but they might as well from the things we've endured. This story is not about those restaurants, it's about one more restaurant that every special needs parent should add to their short list.

Braeden is a 7 year old boy on the autism spectrum, Perry is a 14inch plush Platypus.Together they're best friends. Braeden, Perry, and myself were out to brunch in Media, Pa, to a familiar but new restaurant in town, Bittersweet Kitchen. Braeden ordered chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, and began to place Perry's order when I stopped him and laughed to the waitress. Shortly after the food came, the waitress came back with a special order for Perry too.

I sat there and watched the smile spread across Braeden's face, as I held back tears. I thanked her and the owner for their kindness and left. Sitting at home later that night after Braeden & Perry were fast asleep, I couldn't help but feel completely overwhelmed with emotions. I thought to myself, the waitress may never know what she did for Braeden, how what may have seemed like a small act of kindness to her, was everything to him.

As an autism/special needs parent, all we really want is acceptance. For us, for our family, for our child/adult with autism. When you find the days where you don't need to search for it, where acceptance greets you at the door and serves a stuffed platypus a meal.. Those are the moments worth sharing, a day you'll always remember, and a restaurant worth the short list.

Kathleen Tarzwell
Media, PA

Married 25yrs to an Aspergers woman

I married 25yrs ago to an interesting woman who at that time I didn't know or had even heard of aspergers syndrom. We met on strange terms and married quickly due to our specail circumstances that in hind sight was maybe meant to be for both of us. 25 yrs. wow, She was and is a very successful nurse. Her success drove me to achieve my own successes in education. Over the first few months I knew something wasn't right but I was determined to understand what the issues were all about. Affection was all wrong! At 1st I blamed myself, tried so hard to get things right. I just didn't understand. She was and is very. Good at the things she does such as house care, cooking (the same meals over and over). She watched the same refunds of the same movies over and over. While getting my education some of my studies began to relate to my at home situation. Then we confronted an issue that came up that would have destroyed the marriage. Our resolved was marriage counseling. There the counselor confirmed my suspicions. Aspergers that was such a thugs weight to be lifted off me at that time. Time frame" at about 8 yrs into the marriage. The longer I have stayed in this, the more I pay attention, the better I can not push buttons that she reacts poorly too. Re: loud noises (such as yelling during disagreements, or having her help in my shop when I am using power tools), abrupt changes in schedules, or interfering with her pet likes (sewing,reading, aforementioned tv shows) etc. I could go on and on, it's 25 yrs of learning how to live with aspegers (my fortunate gain). Most specialist gave me no chance of success but here I am still in this marriage. Compromise is my life. Without it this would have failed a long time ago. You have the shortes version of this story. We never had children together but we raised 3 teens together. She was a great attentive mother.

K john
Kenai, AK

My Struggles And Triumphs While Living With Autism

The doctors diagnosed me in June 1998. I was only two-and-a-half. They said I couldn't talk, walk, be potty-trained, and they gave my mother the recommendation of placing me in an institution. My mom stood up to that doctor and told them that she was keeping me, and her and my dad will continue to raise me no matter what. I began walking, and I was finally potty-trained and talking at four.
My childhood was filled with constant bullying, even grown adults would judge me. It was hard. Middle school was okay. I had a very small circle of friends who had my back. High school ended up being great. I had a lot of friends who loved me and would stand up for me no matter what. Then, I proved every doubter wrong by graduating high school. I'm now in college working for my Associate's Degree.
Around January 2015, I gave an oral presentation and wrote a research paper about Autism. When I saw I got 100% on both, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I want to use my Autism to help bring insight and help people understand me more. I've been writing a blog for a year and just now started making YouTube videos to help provide insight.
My Autism is in me for the rest of my life and I accept that. But I want to use it to help other people. Yeah, I have my meltdowns, picking eating habits, and I'm still VERY afraid of an open flame, but I wouldn't change it. To me, having Autism helps me help you understand me more. To me, doing that makes me feel so good and humble that an Autistic person like me can make an impact.

Taylor Orns
Toledo, OH